Loving your wife

Ephesians 5:25-30

“25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body.”


The scriptures paint a beautiful picture of the passion and the enduring and enveloping love of a husband for his wife. It is interesting that the scriptures never command the wife to love her husband. The husband, however, is commanded to love his wife in the most intense and serving way. He is to lay down his life for her. Husbands, when the scripture commands us to love our wives it uses the word “agape”, the very sacrificial love that represents Christ’s love for His church. The scripture describes our wives as “cherished”, “delight of your eyes”, “beloved”, “praised”, “more precious than jewels”, and “favor of the LORD”. Our love for our wives is to be a picture of Christ’s love for the church. Husbands, this is a love that has at its primary goal the good and protection of your wife. It is a love that sacrificially guards her under the word of God. Not in harshness but in the gentle and romantic strength of washing her with the word. A Husband must seek to serve his wife, nourishing and cherishing her, loving his wife as his own body. This is not a typical love, it is more. It is romantic, yet strong; passionate, yet deep and healthy. So husbands let us romance our wives in the amazing love Christ. Husbands, cultivate this love for your wife. And men, we must not wait till we are married for us to cultivate this kind of love, whether you are single or married, we must cultivate a heart of love. We must cultivate a love that not only lays our life down for our wife, but also for others, as we represent Christ’s love as men.

Washing with the Word/Sanctification
Ephesians 5:25-27
"25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless."

It can be frustrating, not having obtained perfection, to still fail and let God down. Our walk on this earth is not one of perfection, but of being perfected -sanctification. When we become saved, God doesn't take a huge fire hose and blast us with water to get rid of all the dirt. No, instead He comes close and gently washes us with the word. I don't understand why God does this, why we aren't made perfect. I hate the fact that I still sin. But I do know that this is romance, and somehow in all this, the romantic, gentle, loving character of God comes through. So in this walk where I am not perfect there is beauty and intimacy; and I am falling more in love with my Beloved, who washes me with His word.

You see it is Christ who washes us, who sanctifies us, who is the perfecter of our faith. We don’t wash ourselves. When Peter refused this, Jesus said, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” And note here how gentle and romantic this is. Not only does he wash us (a very romantic picture), but He washes us with His word. I think of my wife (if it is the Lord’s will) and how much she will desire me to speak gently to her and how deeply that will touch her heart. This passage is extremely intense and romantic. And that is what Christ does for us. He touches the deepest parts of our hearts in a way no one else can.

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.” – C.S. Lewis

Isaiah 61:10-11
"10I will rejoice greatly in the LORD,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up,
So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise
To spring up before all the nations. "

Jesus is a good Shepherd. Do you trust him in your struggles, failures, hurt, in the valley of the shadow of Death?

Do you believe that He is a God who is with us in the realities of life and in the darkest parts of this world?

Additional readings: Ephesians 3:14-20; Romans 8:28-39; Reading - Our Security in Him ,
Video – At the cross