Dignity of a Woman

Where are the men, in these days, who believe in women? Who believe in their strength and influence? Who are willing to stand in honor of the women around them? Where are the men who believe in the dignity of women? Where are the men who believe God at His word, when the scriptures give them such high honor? Below is a quote written by a man, during a war, declaring that the women were there hope. What is said here about women should not be something that is uncommon. It should be an attitude that we as men regularly portray. I want to challenge the men to believe God's word.



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Look into my eyes

written in 2005

I listened as a man told a story on the radio about him and his wife on their honeymoon. His wife had just gotten out of the shower in the morning and as she looked at herself in the mirror she began to point out parts of her that were unattractive. Her husband walked up to her and placed his arms around her and faced her towards himself. He told her that she was insulting his wife; he would not have that. Then he gently said, “Look into my eyes.” She looked into his eyes; it was obvious in his eyes that there was no woman more beautiful. As she looked at him he said, “Let my eyes be your mirror.” He would go on to tell her that throughout their marriage.

After hearing this story, I could hear Christ saying, “Look into my eyes, Let my eyes be your mirror.” I thought about this and I questioned whether or not I wanted this. I don’t want to just be told that I am loved. I want to face my sin. I want to have victory over it. I do not just want to be told that I am wonderful and still be left in my sin. Then I thought about Jesus’ gaze, the gaze that penetrates the deepest parts of the heart, leaving nothing unsearched. How it is stern and loving. Jesus says, “Look into my eyes.” I realized that His gaze not only searches the inmost being, but it also purifies the deepest sin.

As we look into His eyes we see such great love, as He holds us in His arms and tells us that we are lovely. How could this be? A gaze so piercing and yet it contains such an enravished and gentle love, one drop being more than all the poems could contain. One drop bringing healing to our hurting heart. Such a love that makes you forget about yourself and abandon all as you are enraptured in romance of the Beloved. Now, all that matters is being with Him.

I also came to realize, if our eyes are on Jesus then we will be doing what Jesus is doing as Jesus did what the Father was doing. When we trust Him fully with our hearts we will go where He goes. Romance is at the heart of sanctification and holiness.

So let us, look into His eyes and let Him be are mirror. “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” This is not a gaze into our idea or concept of who Jesus is. But it is the gaze of a broken and contrite heart that trembles at God’s word and allows His truth to run wild and rule as a lion, without compromise. It is a humble walk before our Creator and Lord. It is a gaze that lets Christ be who He is and a gaze that allows us to be who He is creating us to be.


“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His Marvelous light . . .” 1 Peter 2:9

The Wife of your youth

written 2007

In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel sets down to write as he recalls “the utterance which his mother taught him”. These are the words that a mother installed into her son as a youth, and the words that he carried with him as a man. His mother taught him, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain” . . . “Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings.” She warns him not to pursue a woman based on outward appearances and pretences, but to cherish incorruptible and satisfying beauty.

As men since we were little we have been hit by the message of the world. It is the adulteress of Proverbs crying out at every corner, “come here this is what is beautiful; this is what will satisfy” (paraphrased). We so often believe these words (“With much seductive speech she persuades him”), and we chase after the lust of our eyes and follow the lures of the adulterous woman, unaware that it will cost us our life, “for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng”. It is as if we are spiritually mad, running after things that have never satisfied us, but only cause us to thirst more. And yet in our thirst, we continue in this madness; we forsake the spring of life for broken cisterns. It destroys men. Proverbs describes its end as death, Jesus describes it as hell. “It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Men, if you think a beautiful woman will satisfy your physical desires, you are sadly mistaken. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” Our hearts are made for the Lord. This culture has lied to us about what beauty is, it cries out at every corner, and we have bought into it, even in the church. We have let the world cheat us and we have settled for less than what God has for us. It should cause us to weep and be angry.

But that is not the end of this mother’s words, “but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised”. . . “She is far more precious than jewels”. The scripture talks of a woman whose worth exceeds jewels, who is worthy of praise, and is to be honored, and who will also fully gratify all our physical longings and desires. Her beauty goes beyond the imagination of men, is captivating and fully satisfying, and meets the deepest longings of our hearts. It is incorruptible. “Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging of the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” This is not an outward appearance or pretence of godliness, but a deep inner walk with the Lord. It is woman who has a deep trust in the Lord and embraces womanhood.

Men, this beauty is not just spiritual, it is also physically satisfying. God does not ignore the physical aspect to beauty. God is honest about our physical longings. In Proverbs it says,

“Let your fountain be blessed,and rejoice in the wife of your youth,a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden womanand embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”

God commands us to be “intoxicated always” by the love of our wife and to be filled “at all times with delight”. God describes ones wife as beautiful, “a lovely deer, a graceful doe.” This passage is not talking about a young wife with a young body that fits with the world’s description of beauty, but a wife that has grown old with you. She may not have the body of a young woman, but she has the only body that can fully satisfy her husband. The word “fill” here means to have abundance, to be saturated, to have more than enough, to take ones fill. In other words, to have every physical longing filled and to have no need for more. Your wife will fill every physical longing you have. You may be intoxicated by the love of a forbidden woman, but her embrace will never fill your physical longings. “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of men.” To rejoice in your wife is a command of God to the men, and I don’t believe God will command something He won’t perform. If you find a godly wife, God will satisfy your every physical longing for beauty as well. It will be filled and overflowing. Men, “let your fountain be blessed”! The Lord is faithful; trust Him to fulfill what He has promised. Do not be led astray by the lies of the adulteress; by death.

This is the standard of what should attract us as men as we pursue to find a wife, physical attributes or pretenses should no longer be the standard. And it is a standard by which we are treat other women who are not our wife. It is not only our duty to have this as our standard of beauty, but it is also our delight and exceeding joy, as God transforms our definition of beauty to His, and His passions become our own. Women need this from us, the passion of God through us, declaring to them that they as women are beautiful, more precious then jewels. Oh, how “good and acceptable and perfect” is the will of God and how wonderful is His gifts to us!

I know it can be hard, we are hit by television, commercials, the media, by how women dress in our society, even walking in grocery stores with images (although much of this can be stopped, if we act as men). I grew up in this as well and it is hard for me and I struggle. But if we give in to it then we are not walking in godliness or in manhood, but instead eating the vomit of this world. What does the Bible say about this? “Therefore I urge you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect”. We must ask God to transform the way we think, so that it conforms to Christ and His view of women. We as men are to demonstrate Christ’s heart and love for the women in our lives. The change must start here with us, and we must pass this on to our sons and other men, speaking to them while they are still young, defining for them what a beautiful woman is and teaching them to deny the world, the adulteress woman.

I do not think we can do this alone. I know I cannot do this alone; I definitely don’t have it all together. I need other men to walk, in honesty and openness, with me in this, to covenant with me to fight; to not look at a woman with lust. To keep me accountable and speak straight words to me when I compromise; the scripture says that we are not even to have a hint of sexual immorality. I need men to be men. God is good and He is faithful and we can give Him our hearts in this.


Women, this is not just for men, it is for you as well. Women are not innocent in their view of men. Be careful to not be lured by the trappings and pretenses of this world. Look to your Father who provides all things.

True Beauty

Many years ago I watched this movie and one of the scenes stuck with me. The man had drawn a portrait of the woman he loved. When he drew the portrait, he didn’t hide who she was. The portrait was an accurate drawing of what she looked like faults and all. He showed it to her and explained that he knew her, he could see her faults, he didn’t have some fairy tale vision of who she was, but he loved her for who she was and that love was real. This is more than a fairy tale love. Its deeper and more real. And yes, I do want to love my wife this way, Lord willing, but, honestly, I do not know if God will give me a wife, but I do know that I can give this love to others. And I want them to know that Love.